Beginnings -- Chapter 3

A month later

Goren walked up to Eames’ modest bungalow in Rockaway. He heard the faint sound of music seep through the cracks in the door frame; he was pretty sure it was The Smiths.

He rang the bell and listened to the locks discharge.

A messy Eames appeared in the doorway wearing gray yoga pants stained with blue paint and a frayed blue cami. He loved the fact that he was welcome into these hidden sides of her, which he either never saw before or tried to ignore.

“Hey,” she said. “I thought you were visiting your mom.”

“I…I was. I just got back. Sorry, I should have called.”

“No. It’s fine…come in,” she gestured him inside. “I was just cleaning.”

He followed her toward the living room and she turned down the stereo.

“I didn’t know you liked The Smiths,” Goren said.

He hovered in the doorway with his hands shoved into denim pockets and concentrated on the movement of her shoulder blades before she turned to face him.

She smirked. “I didn’t know you knew who they were.”

He smiled sheepishly. “Morrissey…has an interesting view of the world and some of his references are fairly obscure.”

She smirked, thinking naturally that’s why he would like them, and curled up in a chair to watched Goren in the doorway.

“Are you okay?” Eames asked.

He nodded and scratched the back of his neck as he wandered further into the room.

“Yeah…we just haven’t talked since we left Carver’s office yesterday,” he said.

“Didn’t seem like there was much to say.”

“I take it your still mad at me.”

“I was never mad at you.”

“You were upset.”

“I just…I don’t understand why you went to bat for him. You said it yourself that he would do it again.”

“But he didn’t do it out of malice,” he said pacing in front of her. “He did it out of desperation.”

“Bobby, he drilled a hole in a girl’s head and poured water on her brain. All of us have moments of need and desperation but—“

“It’s more than just the yearning…it’s the hopelessness,” he sat down on the edge of the coffee table to meet her eyes. “To be alone for so long, to not have anyone to talk to or to help you…to feel you have to hide what you are so as not to be rejected. It…it’s maddening.”

For the briefest of moments she saw that desperation in the dark eyes seated in front of her and felt the understanding come over her, accompanied by a slight sadness as she leaned forward in her chair.

“And…that’s how you felt as a kid,” she said cautiously.

Goren started to pace again and rubbed his hand along his chin and jaw. Eames followed him and caught his wrist. She put herself in front of him and placed her hands on his chest. He didn’t look up at her, but covered her hands with his own and made circles with his thumbs.

He lifted his eyes from their hands to her eyes.

“Yes,” he finally said. “I was never as…isolated as Tagman, but…I know that sadness…of just needing…someone.”

“Hey,” Eames said and snaked her hands up to his neck. “You can talk to me, you know, about your mom…or whatever. You don’t have to, but you can.”

He ran a hand through her hair and tucked a piece behind her ear.

He nodded. “Today…today was a bad day. I just…I really wanted to see you.”

She pulled his lips down to hers and he wrapped his arms around her waist.

“You want to stay and make me dinner?” she smiled against his lips.

He laughed and stood straight, grateful that she knew he wasn’t ready to say more.

“Do you have anything to make dinner with?”

“You’re resourceful. You’ll figure something out.”

“I could take you out.”

“What like an actual date?”

“We’ve gone out before.”

“No…we’ve gone to grab a bite after wrapping up a case.”

“Okay…well we could remedy that.”

Eames softly shook her head. “Let’s just stay here.”

Goren smiled. “You don’t feel like getting dressed do you?”

“Not at all.”

Goren nodded and made his way to rummage through the kitchen. He discovered some pasta
and canned sauce, which he added some spices and mushrooms to.

They sat hip to hip on the sofa as they ate and watched a movie. Their plates gradually made their way to the coffee table and Eames began to doze off on his shoulder.

She was warm and lazy, seemingly unaware of his presence.

“Eames,” he whispered into her hair.

“I’m awake.”

He quietly laughed. “Do you want me to go?”

She looked up and rested her chin on his shoulder.

“I figured you were going to stay…unless you’re uncomfortable.”

“No, I’d like to stay.”

She nodded. “It’s just we always end up at you’re place.”

“Well, it’s closer to work…” he said then studied her eyes. “Are you comfortable with me staying here?”

“I want you to stay…but I also…”

“Feel guilty?” he offered. “Because…because of Joe.”

She nodded. “It’s silly…I mean it’s been six years…”

“It’s not silly…it’s loyalty. You shared his house with him…if you want me to stay I will and I understand if you’re not ready for me to.”

“You’re going to make me make all the tough decisions, aren’t you,” she said through a smile.
He watched her conflicted eyes speak silently to his and understood that she needed him to lead on this one.

“I want to stay.”

“Okay.”

She slid her chin off this shoulder, guiding her temple back to take its place and returned to a light, warm sleep.