Beginnings -- Chapter 5

About two months later...

Eames entered Goren’s apartment and looked around at the dim lighting suspiciously, while the smell of marinara traveled to her nose.

The past month and a half they remained close, spending most of their days and nights together, but continued to dance around the elephant growing in Eames’ belly. They did manage to address it to her family, which for Goren ranked high with his other most uncomfortable moments. Her father was visibly worried and disappointed, but surprisingly Lucas, her older and favorite brother, came to their aid.

Eames leaned against the doorway into the kitchen and watched him as he finished a place setting, then lit a lantern, which she smirked at.

“Hot date?” she asked.

He turned and gave her that boyish smile that made her stomach rumble.

“There’s a slight possibility…but don’t tell my partner. I think she has a crush on me.”

Playful Goren she hadn’t seen since Nicole Wallace reappeared a couple months ago. Eames tried to convince herself it was Nicole’s fault for his short temper lately and not the fact that she had just told him he was going to be a father.

“Too bad for her,” she said as she walked toward him. “A lantern?”

“I…I don’t have candles,” he said and then gestured toward the pot cooling on the stove. “I made eggplant parmesan.”

It was one of her favorites and she was growing more suspicious.

“What’s all this for?”

He shrugged. “I know this case was…rough…I thought we both needed to unwind a little.”

“Have you been drinking?” she laughed.

He smiles. “Uh…no.”

“You just seem so calm.”

“Uh…cooking for some reason does that…”

“Well it smells good.”

He kissed her forehead and then moved to grab the pot.

“I called a lawyer friend of mine today,” he said as he placed the pot on the table. “He’s agreed to meet with Whitlock’s mother-in-law to help her sue for custody of Adam.”

She watched him as he dished out food onto their plates and found her lips curling upward with pride and affection.

She sat down next to him and they began to eat.

“What did he think her chances were?”

“He said it would be tough, but I told him both of us would be willing to testify for her…I didn’t think you would mind.”

“No, of course not. It’s good that you did that.”

“I hope so.” Goren said. “What did you do this afternoon?”

“Went and talked to an old friend,” she said casually.

He nodded and smiled, knowing she meant she went to Joe’s grave.

“Did he give you any insights?” he asked softly to hide the faint hint of jealousy he couldn’t control.

She nodded absently.

“Bobby, I need you to tell me what you’re thinking…just you, not what you think I want you to want.”

He sighed as he sat back in his chair and rubbed his fingers against his lips.

“I don’t know Eames…everything’s been so good since…since that first night. And not just personally…professionally we’ve been better than we ever were…and,” he voice trailed off as he played with the fraying fabric on his knee. “And I don’t want to lose that.”

“Neither do I,” Eames said, with a little more hostility than she intended.

“I know that—“

“But even if we do get split up that doesn’t mean things personally have to change. In fact it could be better…we could actually go out without worrying about who we might run into or who they might tell…maybe it’s a good thing that are hand is being forced.”

“I can’t believe how calm you’ve been about all this.”

“Well, one of us has to be…and I apparently drew the short straw.”

He sat up in his chair with irritation in his eyes that met hers.

“How’d you expect me to react? You drop this bomb in my lap that changes both of our lives…forever…and you—“

“You think you were the only one freaked out about this? Do you have any idea what went through my head when I found out? Of course not…cause you never asked…too wrapped up in being a selfish—“

“Hey! Don’t…you know you could have told me—“

“One of us had to keep it together and…I was scared too. Scared of how it would affect my career, ‘cause not only was I knocked up, but knocked up by partner, the reaction of my family, which wasn’t nearly as bad as I thought it would be, and you…that you would…”

Her voice trailed and she let out a long sigh, while watching his eyes study the food on is plate.

“That I would run away…” he said softly and rubbed a hand against his chin.

She nodded and took a deep breath to soften her voice. “But see eventually I wasn’t just holding it together…I really was calm and excited and…and I just knew…I knew it would be okay.”

“I want to feel that way,” he said as he caught her yes with his. “I do…I do love you and I want to believe you, but I don’t know if I’m ready for all of this.”

“Goren, you’re forty years old, if you’re not ready now, you’re never going to be,” Eames said, trying to keep her tone light. “Look, if you really don’t want this then tell me and I’ll go…clean break no questions asked, but if you’re just scared of what will happen if you allow yourself to want this, then stop pushing me away.”

He studied her with glassy eyes, and then leaned forward to twine his fingers with hers. The feel of her skin steadied him.

“I don’t want you to go,” he said finally. “The idea of you having…my child…is astounding and horrifying. There’s so much that could go wrong, but I’ll try…I can’t promise anything.”

“I’m not asking you to…I know we’re going about this ass backwards, but maybe it can work…and maybe it won’t, but this…us…it deserves a shot,” Eames said. “And…I love you too. Now let’s actually eat.”

Goren smiled and lightly brushed his lips to hers before returning to his plate.